“People often think of loneliness as being physically alone, but you can be lonely with other people around as well as when you are isolated,” says Jamie Winters, LCSW, Senior Primary Therapist at Penn Medicine Princeton House Behavioral Health’s North Brunswick location. “It involves a sense of not being connected. At one time it was viewed as more of a concern for older people, but it has become common in younger adults these days as well.
Loneliness can lead to depression and anxiety, and result in a lack of motivation, which can filter into every aspect of life. Someone who is lonely may have trouble pushing themselves to complete basic self-care tasks such as bathing, dressing, eating, and getting proper rest; or, they may eat or sleep too much. They may also have difficulty meeting professional and personal obligations.
“If you are dealing with loneliness, you can find your mental health problems ramping up quickly if you do not address the problem,” says Winters. “You can find yourself overwhelmed by sadness and negative thoughts, and that can lead to alcohol or drug use, and even thoughts of self-injury.”
Understanding the Causes Helps
Living alone and not having a social support network has always been a key reason for loneliness, but two relatively recent occurrences have made the condition more prevalent: the isolation experienced as a result of the COVID pandemic and social media, which often presents false images of people’s lives and takes the place of direct, personal interaction.
“Instead of spending time together directly, with social media your interaction is impersonal,” says Winters. “Also, social media posts can make it look like other people are living exciting, glamourous lives while you are not. This is not a realistic representation of life, but we find ourselves believing it and feeling like we do not measure up.”
Steps to combat loneliness include:
- Spending time face-to-face with family and friends
- Limiting or avoiding social media
- Joining a social group of people with similar interests
- Pursuing a new activity through a class or organized program
- Remembering there are many people in the same situation you are in, and taking the first step to connect with others with the same needs
“If you find you are struggling to deal with your loneliness on your own, seek help,” says Winters. “At Princeton House, we have programs specifically designed for seniors and for young adults. If you are lonely and also are experiencing substance abuse problems or gambling problems, or depression and anxiety, we have programs to help you work through those issues. It is important to recognize there is always a place to turn to for help.”