Helping Others Cope With Grief During the Holidays

Christine Isaac, LCSW, LCADC, Community Relations, Penn Medicine Princeton House Behavioral Health, understands that we all would like to experience joy during the holidays. For those dealing with grief it can be much more challenging.

“You might feel the urge to include those who are grieving over the holidays in traditional social gatherings (virtual or in person), but some people experiencing grief may find participating in holiday traditions overwhelming or exhausting,” suggests Isaac.

“Ask the individual what they are comfortable doing and support their decision.”

Isaac offers more tips for helping those experiencing grief this holiday season:

—Don’t Assume Experiences with Grief Are Universal
Grief is different for everyone and although you might think you know exactly how the holidays will be for those who are grieving, keep in mind it’s not the same circumstance as yours. Take time to listen to their experiences, thoughts, and feelings this year. Respond with kindness and empathy. It’s not about using perfect words; it’s about showing you genuinely care. A person experiencing grief most likely wants to feel heard, supported, and loved.

—Remember
We can remain connected with our loved ones through the memories that live on. Ask the person grieving if or how they would like to memorialize their loved one during the holidays. For instance, some people may light a candle at the dinner table; while others might be interested in having close friends and family compose a book of all their favorite memories to reflect on during the holidays. Grief is a unique experience for everyone and understanding that those who are grieving this holiday season are most likely in the process of figuring out what they need or don’t need from others. Be patient, respectful, and understanding during this process.

—Don’t Walk on Eggshells
People can feel when someone is hesitant around them. Don’t shy away, even though grief is an emotionally charged and uncomfortable topic. It’s okay to check in with the person but be respectful of their needs. Some days they may need to talk, and other days they may need to have space. It’s okay to ask the person grieving what they need, or you can also offer something specific like a meal, help decorating their home, or picking up items from the grocery store.

—Offer Avenues of Support
People might not know where or how to find different types of support and searching for resources while grieving can be very overwhelming. While friends, family, and significant others can be one area of support, there are also peer support groups for those grieving. There are therapist-facilitated support groups and individual grief therapists that can also aid in the process of grieving and healing. Offer to help the person find support groups (usually through local hospitals and through internet searches) or therapists who specialize in grief therapy. The process of finding these resources will be helpful to those you know, but you might also utilize the resources when you encounter your own experiences with grief.

“Being supportive, thoughtful and a good listener goes a long way when someone we care about is grieving,” says Isaac.

NEWS MEDIA CONTACT:
Jennifer McGinley
jennifer.mcginley@pennmedicine.upenn.edu
410-303-2252